The Oxford Triangle: a mystery for our times

[Stuart Cyphus]

Dear Al

How far does the Oxford Triangle extend?
Does it extend half way to Cambridge? and which way up is the Triangle?
Is it a right angle triangle, or an equilateral triangle?

Can you plot it on a map for us all?

I think we should be told.

Worried from Surrey

 The Oxford Triangle apeares to be shaped similar to the wheelbase of a Sunbeam-Maberley and would seem to have its epicenter over Carfax Tower on Cornmarket Street. Certainly its strange powers seem strongest in that immediate area as witness a flotilla of Trojans being dragged against their will the wrong way up a one-way street during the TOC Oxford Rally of 2006, netting each driver a £30 fine. Some say the bemused gnashing that day were heard all the way to Eccles which might prove to be one of the outlaying extents of the Oxford Triangle. Certainly, reports are coming in that, as well as computers and Trojans (Now there's two items scarcely ever uttered in the same breath!), Volkswagen Polo suspension units in the vacinity of the same Eccles are falling pray to the strange powers of nature   Has the triangle extended to Surrey? We don't know, but maybe one day, we may know enough about it to harness its powers in protecting us all from Essex....   

[P50]

What has Lord Cyphus been smoking?

I'm very scared and confused!!

[Big Al]

Dear Al

How far does the Oxford Triangle extend?
Does it extend half way to Cambridge? and which way up is the Triangle?
Is it a right angle triangle, or an equilateral triangle?

Can you plot it on a map for us all?

I think we should be told.

Worried from Surrey

Unfortunately, Worried, I live near Oxford but I do not have the brains to be allowed into the Universities unless I am delivering something. Do Triangles have a right way up? Good question. That is one for Proff Hawking and his chums I fear. However since he is Cambridge and there is no evidence of the Triangle spreading further than Steeple Aston he probably finds it amusing. I have never heard him laugh via his adopted voice generator but I think it could be rather disturbing.
Looking at the rough shape of the Triangle it seems to be pretty equilateral which might be expected of a natural phenomenon (it is a circle but we only have 4 datum points at the moment just making it look triangular) The good news is that if it is circular then Surrey is quite a long way from infection. The bad news is that if it is triangular one of the pointy bits is aimed at you Surreyites.
A look at general data does suggest that the phenomena is linked with ownership of Bambys, IC, or in talking incomprehensile tails gripping the mouse there spouting nonesense. See that tends to prove it. So in theory if you all remain relatively sensable and talk mainly about strange small vehicles the Triangle would not get the energy to grow unless there is a gravitational effect created by concentrations of Bambys or IC. One way to find out is to have an IC Rally in Oxfordshire to see if the situation gets worse during the period of the event. Did Hull suffer a similar problem back in the day? Perhaps we cannot tell as PC's were not so common then but Alan Evans did experience negative waves I understand. It is a mystery worthy of Loch Ness etc. Since Bermuda has shorts I am thinking we should market Oxford Triangle skirts, with zips that do not work - well what would you expect!

So beware the Toblerone Zone!