SCOTTISH ?ALL DUTCH TO ME

[richard]

Just returned from 4 days working glasgow and edinburgh - i do love it up there -

 overheard in kwikfit , whilst getting two new fronts on the company car ,

" sorry your car has failed m.o.t. on 3 counts wear in bushes on such and such ........... oh and the skooshers aren't working - LOVE IT 

[marcus]

Wipers? Good word whatever it means! Over 40 years since I was last "North o' the Border".*
* A Jimmy Shands and his Band LP in my collection!

[richard]

SKOOSHERS = SCREEN WASHERS ! 

[marcus]

Well, I was not too far off!

[Big Al]

Failed MOT because I have been driving my van economically all year. This is now a common failure, I was told. It means the exhaust is full of carbon. Since the sniffer is linked to the Government the readings cannot be fiddled. No chance for a skilled mechanics judgement. So now you have to drive like a nutter for a day to clear out the exhaust to get a diesel MOTed or get a fail and return from the Government for being law abiding, economical and green. Brilliant. Next we will be banning electric cars from traffic lights as they emit a magnetic field. I really do fear the country is doomed as the idiots are in charge.

[Basket case]

Glad that you guys from Englandshire have enlightened us as what you call skooshers. I mean, imagine calling them windscreen washers! Hilarious.
Skooshers are skoohsers.

Mind you, if you were in Glasgow, well done for understanding anything! Sorry Crawford.

[Big Al]

I like the term numbty (spelling) that has now become countrywide but I believe is mid Scottish in origin. It really does sum up the sort of person it is applied to. In the West country they used to still use dullard which is nearly as good, but most places it has been shortened and has a less polite word attached which might be correct but has no charm. I remember Wally Mathews of Pill talking of folk as 'tent nowt buda girt dullard' while we sat on his old boat learning about real sailing rather than being at school playing sport. Like old Wally it has probably died with his tales under commercial sail so numbty is a good replacement.