Be the envy of all your friends

[Peelpower]

Worse than useless?!

(Will the Peel Mafia burn down my studio tonight?)

Ups, be careful Marcus  !!! 

[Bob Purton]

You have to remember I'm an Essex boy, we have our own vernacular.

[Big Al]

Or 'less use than useless'. Nice symmetry, mmmm.

I thought Essex was a little height challenged for a Vernacular lift, even if it is more usefull than a Peel. Does this suggest that the electric Peel is as usefull as a Fenland Funicular lift? Now that is an invention I would be interested to see like Dave's solar powered submarine.

[Chris Thomas]

Dear Al

I think you may have miss-heard Dave's statement in the defence review on Submarines. The latest sub (HMS Embarrassed) was testing the new wave energy system when it ran aground. To collect wave energy it has to travel on the surface, and not being able to put up  a perisope caused the problem. The MOD will be adding an additional perisope out the underside to see what is below as well as above. Being able to travel along the surface and collect wave energy will make a huge saving for the Navy.

I hope this has been of assistance

Chris Thomas

[Big Al]

It all makes sense when you know!

I wonder if there was official comment on how useful the new Sub was. 'The Skye's the limit' was the answer.

I blame the use of a genuine Pilot Whale brain in the new biotronic navigation system.

Slightly worried by these developments as we now have a none submersible submersible on wave power as Chris has helpfully explained, aircraft carriers without aeroplanes which are to be scrapped as soon as the next one is available so that when the planes are actually ready we have no aircraft Carrier left. Does this mean we have the new energy efficient green destroyers which on declaration of war disintergrate into handy liferafts with return to China address labels on them? Mien Sweepers actually only on loan from Germany due to a spelling mistake on the procurement forms (same agent as supplied Chinooks that have the wrong chip in them and do not fly!)? Trident subs that are designed to not be found which get lost unless the send up one of those big flare thingies? Also it is planned to declare war on the Maldives as the Navy feels left out of fighting and blowing up innocent foreign Johnnys in general for thier own good and we cannot loose as the Maldives are going sink anyway due to global warming. America and China will help us by providing lots more pollution and not signing any green protocols as long as we buy their crappiest products with money we haven't got. I could go on and probably will but not now.

[AndrewG]

I once worked at Vickers (sorry, now BAE) in Barrow where all the nukes get built.  They used to be launched from a conventional (slipway) berth and when the first hunter-killer was built (before my time!), they had no data.  So it sailed down the ways like greased lightning straight onto the sandbank opposite where it sat for 12 hours waiting for a tug to pull it off.  It was close enough to Walney Island that small boys waded out on the beach and were pinging pebbles off the sub hull.  My coworkers said there were "hairy-a**ed marines" patrolling the deck of the sub trying to shoo the small boys away and clearly annoyed that they weren't allowed to use their rifles on them - they were soft as clarts, back then, you know.

[richard]

clarts ?

[Stuart Cyphus]

 A clart, another name for a smallish, brownish residue pile left by an animal such as a cow. But then I am of Oxfordshire/Gloustershire agrictural extraction.... 

[Bob Purton]

Thats a pat!

[Stuart Cyphus]

 Officially a pat is what you have in the early stages of butter making. Remind me to check any sandwhichs you offer me VERY carefully in future....     Mind you, I suppose they do both come from more or less the same end....   

[marcus]

I'm not from there, but surely everyone knows "Thar's a mucky clart", meaning "You're a right sluberdegullion".

[richard]

this sites too clever for me 
meant to ask bob exactly what is an essex vernacular - is it a microcar, or an injin of some sort . if you have one as you say lets see it !! i have a feeling you are just bragging 

[Stuart Cyphus]

 This is an Essex Car.     being the Chalenger model rather than the Vernacular . They also did a Super Six...  Bob, is yours a Super Six or is it just gossip.....   

[Bob Purton]

All joking aside I have always like these cars even though they are American! They used to have one at the Lakeland Motor museum , a right hand drive model and I always admired the quality. Funny Richard should mention injuns, I have a very interesting one stripped down on the bench right now, a small Guzzi two stroke with a very clever inlet port system, the crank shaft is hollow and has a cut away so as it rotates it links the inlet manifold with the crank housing thus doing away with the rather inefficient transfer porting of usual strokers. Damned clever these Italians!

[marcus]

They used to have one at the Lakeland Motor museum

Went past it yesterday, and many other times over the last 18 months or so, but never had time to visit. It is ironic and frustrating when work pays you to go to interesting places but gives you too little time to explore them.